> >> BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because
> it was time for
> >> a change! The chicken wanted change!
> >>
> >> JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the
> road because he
> >> recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
> dialogue with all
> >> the chickens on the other side of the road.
> >>
> >> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I
> personally helped that
> >> little chicken to cross the road. This experience
> makes me
> >> uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One!
> that every
> >> chicken in this country gets the chance it
> deserves to cross the
> >> road. But then, this really isn't about me.
> >>
> >> GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the
> chicken crossed the
> >> road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
> our side of the
> >> road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or
> for us. There
> >> is no middle ground here.
> >>
> >> DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
> >>
> >> COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you
> can clearly see
> >> the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
> road.
> >>
> >> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that
> chicken. What is
> >> your definition of road?
> >>
> >> AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
> >>
> >> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken
> cross the road, I
> >> am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
> and I was
> >> misled about the chicken's intentions. I am
> not for it now, and
> >> will remain against it.
> >>
> >> AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We
> need more black
> >> chickens.
> >>
> >> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this
> chicken won't
> >> realize that he must first deal with the problem
> on this side of
> >> the road before it goes after the problem on the
> other side of the
> >> road. What we need to do is help him realize how
> stupid he's
> >> acting by not taking on his current problems
> before adding new
> >> problems.
> >>
> >> OPRAH: Well, I understand that this chicken is
> having problems,
> >> which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
> So instead of
> >> having the chicken learn from his mistakes and
> take falls, which
> >> is a part of life, I'm going to give this
> chicken a car so that he
> >> can drive across the road and not live his life
> like the rest of
> >> the chickens.
> >>
> >> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe
> there is a
> >> chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access
> to the other side
> >> of the road.
> >>
> >> NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
> he's guilty!
> >> You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
> >>
> >> PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent,
> hardworking American.
> >>
> >> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which
> way that chicken
> >> was going. I had a standing order at the
> Farmer's Market to sell
> >> my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
> No bird gave me
> >> any insider information about crossing.
> >>
> >> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
> cross it with a
> >> toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why
> it crossed I've
> >> not been told.
> >>
> >> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
> >>
> >> JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay!
> Can't you people see
> >> the plain truth? That's why they call it the
> 'other side.' Yes, my
> >> friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
> chicken, you may
> >> become gay, also. I say we boycott all chickens
> until we sort out
> >> this abomination that the liberal media
> whitewashes with seemingly
> >> harmless phrases like 'the other side.'
> That chicken should not
> >> be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
> simple as that.
> >>
> >> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why a chicken
> crossed the road.
> >> Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
> that was good
> >> enough.
> >>
> >> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a
> few moments, we will
> >> be listening to the chicken tell, for the first
> time, the heart
> >> warming story of how it had experienced a serious
> case of molting,
> >> and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of
> crossing the road.
> >>
> >> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross
> the road.
> >>
> >> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing
> roads together.
> >>
> >> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008,
> which will not
> >> only cross roads, but will integrate with those
> that lay eggs.
> >> Henhouse Explorer is an integral part of eChicken
> 2008. This new
> >> platform is much more stable than previous
> versions.
> >>
> >> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the
> road, or did the
> >> road pass beneath the chicken?
> >>
> >> COLONEL SANDERS: Which way did he go?
> >>